Of Dreams and Reality
by LinaLau
Summary: [COMPLETE - Epilogue up] A TsuSoka fic, now with elements of TaTari in it as well. Hisoka has a strange dream, and it concerns Tsuzuki. Dreams often reflect the thoughts of the dreamer... and there's a thin line between dreams and reality.
1. Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening

Of Dreams and Reality By LinaLau  
  
Hey people! This is my first ever fanfic so please be nice, I hope its ok. . . It's just a little (well, maybe not that little . . . ^^;;) TsuSoka fic. I hope you guys like it!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, unfortunately. even though I would love to be able to draw like that. *sob, sob* But anyways, it belongs to the mighty Yoko Matsushita. *bows to her talent and greatness in general* (though I wouldn't mind if she gave Hisoka to me! Hehe)  
  
Warnings: Slight shounen ai, but hey, it's Yami no Matsuei fanfiction! What do you expect? If you don't like that kind of stuff, then don't read. *waves to those who hit the back button*  
  
Hmm, to those who are still here, well, there aren't really that many spoilers in this fic, but it is set after the end of the anime, and maybe after the Kyoto arc . . . but I'm not sure yet. It shouldn't contain any major spoilers anyway, except for maybe Hisoka's past with Muraki.  
  
Additional Notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words and ~~~~***~~~~ = scene change  
  
Ok, enough rambling from me, for now. On with the fic!  
  
Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening  
  
Hisoka stood on the roof of the building and was mesmerised by the scene before him. The sun was setting and the sky had just started to turn pink, and purple, and many other beautiful soft pastel colours.  
  
It was a clear day, and the sky was cloudless and unblemished, save for a flock of birds. They were too far away, even for Hisoka's shinigami eyes, to be distinguished as any particular species. The gentle evening breeze was blowing, and Hisoka's hair, just like the delicate pink sakura petals around him was picked up and danced in the cool evening air, tickling his face slightly.  
  
'Why am I here?' he thought, somewhat confused. 'Why am I on the roof of the EnmaCho building?'  
  
The door behind him opened suddenly, and a tall, handsome man in a black trench coat toppled through the doorway. He looked up, breathless, and his amethyst eyes met those of confused emerald ones.  
  
"I've . . . finally . . . found . . . you . . ." Tsuzuki says, with laboured breathing and panting after every word. Hisoka simply stared at him in surprise, his mouth slightly open. He was about to reply to Tsuzuki's rather odd statement when he was caught off guard as a shaft of red light from the setting sun struck Tsuzuki and his hair glowed, and his eyes reflected the colour, adding crimson to amethyst and swirling the two together in a mesmerising way.  
  
'He's beautiful . . .' Hisoka thought unconsciously. 'He has always been beautiful.' But even as he thought this, he dismissed the thought and banished it to the back of his brain. It was pointless to think these meaningless thoughts. Hisoka did not know why he was thinking these thoughts, and why he felt a strange sense of sadness and bitterness laced with longing in his heart. After all, what would he know of an emotion he had never experienced before?  
  
Hisoka opened his mouth, to say something, anything; snap at Tsuzuki even, like he usually does, to hide what he really wants to say to him. But before he had the chance to say anything . . .  
  
RING~~~ RING ~~~ RING ~~~~ The ringing alarm clock on the bedside table next to Hisoka read 06:45. Shafts of the morning sunlight pierced through the white curtains of Hisoka's room, illuminating his face, and adding highlights to his hair.  
  
'That was a dream?' Hisoka rubbed his eyes groggily and dragged himself out of his bed. 'What an odd dream, and why was I dreaming about Tsuzuki of all people?' He slipped off his bed and stood up, stretching and yawning like a cat. 'At least it was not a dream with Muraki in it . . .' Somewhat comforted by that thought, he made his way to the bathroom, but before he had reached his destination, a loud and persistent knocking was heard from the direction of his front door.  
  
"Soka'chan! Are you up yet??? I came all the way to give you your breakfast!" Tsuzuki said, from the other side of Hisoka's home's front door. "Come on! Let me in, 'Soka!"  
  
Hisoka sighed. He could feel, even through the distance that separated them, the excitement and happiness that was radiating off his partner, attacking his tired and sleep deprived mind through its intensity. Hisoka had never been a morning person, and coupled with the fact that he was still tired, he was annoyed even more easily than usual. He trudged to the front door, and yanked it open. "Baka! You already have the spare key, there's no need to knock so loudly and create such a great commotion so early in the morning!" He scowled, and stomped back to the bathroom, his original destination before being sidetracked by Tsuzuki's distraction. Stupid empathy . . . a rude awakening indeed.  
  
When Hisoka came out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to go to work, he found Tsuzuki sitting at his dining table, with a plate of fresh pastries and two cups of tea, waiting for him. Hisoka was somewhat touched by this, as usually, Tsuzuki would have eaten all of the pastries before anyone else had a chance to touch them. But he was not going to let Tsuzuki know what he was feeling. It was a relief to him that he was the empath and not the other way round.  
  
"'Soka! Come on! Eat! I bought these pastries for you especially, cos they're not that sweet and I told them to not add any icing sugar on top. well, for half of them anyway . . . I like icing sugar . . . *mumble . . . mumble*" Tsuzuki continued with his mumbling for a while, and Hisoka watched him with increasing bemusement. "Anyway, Soka-chan should eat! You never eat! You must eat something to sustain that body of yours, even if you are a shinigami. Okay? Don't make me worry about you." His previous excitement and joy had died down slightly, and Hisoka could tell, through his empathy, that Tsuzuki was becoming serious and was not joking.  
  
Hisoka suppressed the urge to smile, and instead glared at Tsuzuki. It was safer to stick to routine, to stay on familiar ground and so Hisoka stuck to his usual reaction. "Baka! I'm not a child; I don't need you to look after me." But seeing the look on Tsuzuki's face fall slightly, he softened slightly and softly added, "Thanks for bringing me breakfast, Tsuzuki. . . . Itadakimasu . . ."  
  
Hearing that, even though it was said almost too softly to be heard, Tsuzuki smiled, and started to eat the pastries with relish (of course, he ate all the pastries with icing on top, and some of the ones without as well).  
  
"Baka . . ." But nevertheless, Hisoka started to nibble elegantly on one of the pastries. The pastries, much to his surprise, actually tasted pretty good.  
  
~~To Be Continued~~  
  
Lina: Hey people, what did you think? Please tell me someone liked it? Please? Ok, I'll stop being pathetic. Umm, well, this was meant to be a little fic, but it seems to have acquired some sort of a plot along the way. So it's not a little fic anymore. ^^;;  
  
Please R&R, I live on reviews. They make me so happy . . . so make this little writer a happy bunny? Please?  
  
Thanks for reading this ficcie, and I'll continue and post an update as soon as possible. I won't threaten the readers with "reviews or no updates!" but I would like a review, if you guys could spare a little of your time? Arigatou everyone for reading!! 


	2. Chapter 2: Touch

Of Dreams and Reality By LinaLau  
  
Hey to you all again! I have updated! And it was a fast update (and about double the length of the last one ^^;;)! :D Anyways, here is chapter 2 of 'Of Dreams and Reality'. Hope you guys like it!  
  
It's not purely a TsuSoka fic anymore though; it's now got Tatari elements in it as well (well, there will be soon anyway)! This thing is growing! I don't know if that is good or not . . . as I still don't know where I'm going with it. ^^;; I have a vague idea, but I have to get the details sorted. *ponders as to what to write about next chapter*  
  
Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei does not belong to me, however much I want it to. It belongs to the great Yoko Matsushita. I love her drawings . . . now if only she will continue and finish the manga and not leave it half hanging.  
  
Warnings: Some shounen ai (apologies for bad typing leading to mispelt 'shounen' in last chapter. I've changed it now, so everything in Lina's world is alright again.), but what did you expect? This is a Yami no Matsuei fanfic. Don't read if you don't like that sort of stuff. Oh, and warnings about my really pathetic attempt at humour. ^^;;  
  
Umm, no spoilers so far, apart from maybe Hisoka's past. I've decided that it's set after the Kyoto arc for both the manga and the anime but before the Gensou Kai arc in the manga, seeing as that is unfinished and I didn't want to make up an ending (why won't she finish it? It's a bad time to get writers block . . . come on, it's been like, 2 years!). Err, yeah, sorry bout my little outburst there . . . umm, yeah, so it may contain spoilers later.  
  
Additional notes: Sorry, forgot to put this in last chapter (but I've changed it now). ^^;; 'blah' = thoughts, and "blah" = spoken words and ~~~~***~~~~ = scene change  
  
Ok, enough rambling.  
  
Chapter 2: Touch  
  
The walk to work was not particularly eventful, and the two shinigami walked in comfortable silence for a while underneath the blooming sakura trees. It was a pleasant day; not too hot, and not too cold either, with a cool breeze that made the sakura petals littering the wide tree lined avenue weave their own delicate path through the air.  
  
Hisoka followed one of the sakura petals as it made its journey skywards, swirling and spiralling in the air until it finally settled on Tsuzuki's hair. Hisoka continued to stare at the petal, even though it had become stationary, and his gaze soon drifted to Tsuzuki's face. His amethyst eyes were unfocused, as though he was looking at something faraway that only he could see. It was strange, seeing the usually cheerful and overexcited man so introspective and looking so thoughtful. Somehow, it made Hisoka's heart beat just a little faster. He felt he was getting a glimpse of another side of Tsuzuki, the more intelligent, less happy-go- lucky side of Tsuzuki that he hardly ever showed.  
  
"Are you okay, Hisoka?" A voice cut through his thoughts and musings. Hisoka shook his head slightly, and looked up to meet Tsuzuki's concerned but steady gaze. "Is there something on my face? You've been staring at it for the past 10 minutes." Hisoka blushed, mentally scolding himself for letting his guard down and getting carried away.  
  
" . . . Baka . . . I-I'm fine . . . and there *is* something on you." He reached up, and gently removed the offending sakura petal from Tsuzuki's hair. As he withdrew his hand, it brushed very softly against Tsuzuki's face, and as if burnt, Hisoka snatched his hand away and took a step back, his face flushing an even darker shade of crimson. "C-Come on, we'll be late to work."  
  
And with that, he turned and walked away, his face growing redder by the second. Tsuzuki, standing still and watching Hisoka's retreating back, slowly brought his own hand up to the place where Hisoka's had gently brushed against his face. 'Am I really that painful to touch, Hisoka? Why do you recoil away from me?' And he smiled; a bitter sweet sort of smile, with sadness and a little bitterness, laced with a tinge of longing. Had Hisoka stayed, he would have felt a familiar sort of emotion coming from Tsuzuki.  
  
~~~~***~~~~  
  
"Good morning, Tatsumi-san!" Watari walked into the secretary's office and, with a flourish, sat down on the seat facing Tatsumi. "And how are you today?" Watari brushed a strand of silken blonde hair away from his face, and looked eagerly at Tatsumi.  
  
"Is there a reason why you're here, Watari? If it's about your budget then no, I will not be increasing it." Tatsumi adjusted his glasses and continued writing on the sheet of paper in his neat handwriting. It was the budget report for Tsuzuki. Watari, seeing this, decided that now was not a good time to try to ask Tatsumi for some extra money.  
  
Tsuzuki's budget reports always made the secretary very irritated and, if possible, even more stingy. It was probably not a good idea either to tell Tatsumi that the reason he wanted an increase to his budget was because he had just managed to mess up his lab again, and that half his beakers (and half his lab) had been dissolved by an evil acid that he had unwittingly created while trying to make his gender changing potion.  
  
Watari made his retreat from the secretary's office and went back to his lab. However, before he had reached it, he bumped into someone who was running at full speed down the corridor. There was an almighty crash, and Watari found himself on the floor, with glasses askew, and what looked like a tomato with blonde hair on top of him. 'It's a rather heavy tomato . . . but wait . . . its got arms and legs . . .' Watari, being the scientist that he was, after a while, reached a conclusion as to what had tackled him and was now lying on top of him.  
  
"Arrrrggghhhhh! It's a mutated tomato!" Watari screamed and scrambled backwards towards the wall adjusting his glasses so that he could see clearly again. The sight that greeted him was not a welcome one. "Oh . . . umm, hi Bon . . ."  
  
"I am NOT a mutated tomato, thank you very much. And you didn't need to be so damned loud." Hisoka glared at Watari, making him shrink away against the wall. He had calmed down slightly now, and was not blushing quite so much anymore. Watari stared at Hisoka for a moment, and then burst out laughing. "What exactly is so funny?"  
  
"You umm, look . . ." Watari suppressed his laughter and tried to think of a good way to express what he wanted to say. Failing miserably, he continued, "Umm, you look . . . kind of . . . red, like a tomato . . ." Seeing the darkening look on Hisoka's face, he quickly changed the subject. "What happened?"  
  
After leaving Tsuzuki standing in the middle of the road, Hisoka had run all the way to the EnmaCho building. He had felt his blush grow redder and redder, as he thought back to what had happened this morning. 'How can I be such an idiot! Why was I staring at that stupid baka anyway . . .' Hisoka was very guarded about letting his emotions and thoughts be shown, and he did not want anyone to find out who he really was or what he truly felt behind that cool, stoic façade that he always kept up. After all, it was for his own protection. He stopped for a moment. He didn't understand why he was so flushed and why his heart was beating so fast. Indeed, he didn't know why he had recoiled from Tsuzuki when he had touched him. It had felt . . . nice; comforting.  
  
When he had touched Tsuzuki, he had felt some of the emotions that Tsuzuki had always kept behind strong shields. Tsuzuki's need to protect, to cheer up, and to stay by Hisoka's side was somewhat overwhelming for Hisoka, yet, he had felt strangely relieved and calmed when he felt those emotions from Tsuzuki. But Hisoka knew that there was more. There was more than just the need to protect, the need to stand by him that Tsuzuki felt. But that feeling was blanketed, and kept wrapped up in the deepest and most guarded parts of Tsuzuki's heart, behind strong walls that even touch could not penetrate.  
  
Hisoka knew that if he had delved deep enough, he would have found what that emotion was, but he did not want to. He did not want to infringe upon Tsuzuki's most private emotions, and he felt it was a violation of Tsuzuki's trust for him, if he had looked any further. It was perhaps because of this that Hisoka had backed away from Tsuzuki. He valued Tsuzuki's trust more than anything else, and to loose it was so devastating to Hisoka that he could not imagine being without it.  
  
And so, he had run, confused and distracted, all the way to the building, with those thoughts reverberating through his head, distracting him, and that was how he had collided with Watari, and been branded a 'mutated tomato'. But he was not about to tell all of this to Watari. Instead, he stood up, and regaining some composure, said,  
  
"Nothing. I was just running, and now I'm out of breath." He glared again at Watari. "And don't you dare call me a mutated tomato again." He stalked off towards his shared office with Tsuzuki, stopped, remembered his manners and, turning back, said, "Oh, and sorry about knocking you over."  
  
Watari sat on the floor and heard a door slam shut. He made no move to get up. Instead, he sat there, pondering what had just happened. It was rare for Hisoka to loose his composure and not look at where he was going. It was also rare to see Hisoka distracted, and looking flustered. 'Something has to be wrong here. I'll bet that something happened . . . but what?'  
  
At this moment, Tsuzuki came down the corridor, slightly distracted and flustered as well, but hiding it with his usual morning grin. He greeted Watari, as if it was normal to find him sitting on the floor in the corridor, and staring intently at the opposite blank wall.  
  
"Hi Watari. Ne, have you seen Hisoka today anywhere?"  
  
"Hisoka? No, but I did just see a mutated tomato though." Watari grinned at Tsuzuki.  
  
"A mutated tomato?" Tsuzuki raised one eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, nothing, don't worry. If you're looking for Hisoka, he just walked by. I think he's gone to your office."  
  
"Oh. Um, ok, thanks Watari."  
  
"That's fine. Glad to be of some help!" Watari watched as Tsuzuki hurried away towards his and Hioska's office. 'Hmm, something must have happened between those two guys . . . I will now make it my mission to find out what happened!' And so, Watari got off the floor and went to his back to his lab to start planning out what he called 'Operation Find-Out-What- Happened-Between-Bon-and-Tsuzuki'.  
  
~~To Be Continued~~  
  
Lina: Hmm, a fast update, ne? ( Hope you guys liked the chapter. I'm really sorry about the really pathetic attempt at humour in the second half of this chapter (I don't usually write humour, I'm more of a descriptive type of person . . .), but I had to lighten the mood a bit, as I don't want this fic to turn all angsty. Please R&R, I live on reviews!  
  
Answers to reviewers: (Woohoo, I actually got reviews! I'm soooo happy! *starts going hyper and goes off into happy-la-la-land* Ok, back to the answers. ^^)  
  
Downdilly: Thanks so much for reviewing! It means a lot to me that someone is actually reading my work likes it. ^^ I'll be continuing, as you can see with this update. Hehe. And the foreshadowing . . . maybe, maybe not, you'll have to find out! Hope you stick around. :D  
  
Raye: Glad you like it. XD I love writing cute fics . . . but this chapter had a bit of Tsuzuki (and Hisoka)-angst in it. But I think the general mood of this fic is supposed to be a happy and fluffy one. Hehe. Well, here's the update, hope you like this chapter too! (  
  
Sheilkuroi: Wow, it's so cool that a writer whom I really like is reviewing me! XD I try to get them all in character, but I might slip sometimes . . . I love Hisoka, and Watari, and Tsuzuki, and Tatsumi (and let's not forget 003), in that order. I find that Tsuzuki and Hisoka are the characters that are easiest to write about. Watari and Tatsumi join in the fray in this chapter, and I hope that I've got them in character too. (  
  
I'll try to update soon. Arigatou all for reading! 


	3. Chapter 3: Torn

Of Dreams and Reality By LinaLau  
  
Hey! Sorry about the last chapter, the first version uploaded was WRONG! Something went wrong, cos the preview was fine. Oh well . . . I've put version two up now, which is the correct version. so sorry about that. ^^;; Well, I now bring you the third chapter! And it's another fast update!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei; if I did I wouldn't be writing this disclaimer. It belongs to the great Yoko Matsushita. So please don't sue me . . . I'm totally broke after buying all my Christmas presents. ^^;;  
  
Warnings: Umm a bit of shounen ai, but this is expected cos it's Yami no Matsuei fanfiction, and if you don't like it, well, tough, cos I do! XD  
  
Spoilers: No spoilers in this part. But there may be spoilers later on in the chapters, as this is set after the Kyoto arc of the manga and anime.  
  
Additional notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words, and ~~~~***~~~~ = scene change  
  
End of rambling. On to the fic!  
  
Chapter 3: Torn  
  
Tsuzuki walked into the little office that he shared with Hisoka. The window was open, letting in some fresh air, and the papers on the two desks were fluttering slightly. Hisoka was sitting at his desk, diligently writing a report. He looked up when Tsuzuki entered the office, but looked down again very quickly, embarrassed that he had run away so abruptly earlier and guilty that he had left Tsuzuki all alone when he had been so kind to him.  
  
Tsuzuki, sighing softly, sat down at his desk and picked up a pen. However, he did not start writing. He rested his head on one hand and sat twirling the pen around in his other hand, staring out of the window. Seeing a distracted Tsuzuki, Hisoka, with head bowed as though he was still writing, sneaked a peek at Tsuzuki under his curtain of blonde hair.  
  
Hisoka did not know why he was drawn to this particular purple eyed man. Whenever Tsuzuki was near him, Hisoka just could not ignore his presence, however hard he tried. He usually covered it up by being prickly and cold towards his partner, but still, Hisoka could feel the magnetic pull of Tsuzuki whenever he was near.  
  
It was odd. He had never been a sociable person; it was perhaps because of the way in which he had been brought up. He had been resigned to the fact that he would always be alone, that others would hurt him if he let them see who he really was, and that the emotions of others around him would drown out his own, leaving him swimming in a sea of confusion and chaos.  
  
But it was different with Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki had always been kind to him, looking out for him and was always ready to catch him if he ever fell. And whenever Tsuzuki was near, Hisoka could sense his familiar and strangely comforting emotions, but they were usually dampened with strong shields, and even when touching Tsuzuki, Hisoka could not feel all of the emotions that Tsuzuki felt.  
  
It was unnerving. He did not, and would not, let anyone near him. Yet, he felt a strange desire to open up to Tsuzuki, to lean on Tsuzuki's support, and to cry on Tsuzuki's shoulder . . . He had never needed anyone before, but now, he needed someone, and Hisoka did not know how to deal with it. It was his natural instinct to push everyone away, yet his heart said something different, and so he was torn. Torn between pushing Tsuzuki away like he usually did, or to let Tsuzuki in. He wanted Tsuzuki to see past his façade, to see who he really was, and to feel what he really felt.  
  
THUMP~~~ The muffled thump and a startled yelp brought Hisoka back to his senses. It appeared that Tsuzuki, while staring out of the window had fallen asleep, and his head had slipped off his hand and made contact rather painfully with the corner of the desk. Tsuzuki sat opposite him, rubbing his forehead, where a bruise was rapidly forming, with glistening eyes. Hisoka stared at Tsuzuki, who was slowly turning into inu mode.  
  
"Itai . . . My head hurts . . ." A tail sprouted from behind Tsuzuki, but instead of wagging energetically, as it usually did, it drooped slightly, wrapping itself around Tsuzuki as if to comfort him.  
  
" . . . You shouldn't have fallen asleep in the first place."  
  
"But I got up really early this morning . . . and I didn't mean to fall asleep . . ." A pair of ears now appeared on Tsuzuki's head, and they too were drooping slightly at the tips. "I'm sorry Hisoka, don't be mad at me."  
  
" . . . Baka, I'm not mad at you." Hisoka's voice was soft, with a hint of gentleness that rarely appeared. "Let me see. Where did you hit your head?" He got up from his desk and in a few graceful steps was standing in front of Tsuzuki. He brushed the thick silken chocolate brown hair away from Tsuzuki's face and peered carefully at the bruise on Tsuzuki's forehead. It was already starting to fade; due to the shinigami's supernatural healing powers. "It'll be fine, it's fading already."  
  
Tsuzuki, surprised by Hisoka's sudden display of gentleness stayed silent for a moment. The two remained still for a while, Hisoka's hand lingering on Tsuzuki's forehead, and Tsuzuki (back in human form) sitting and staring up into Hisoka's emerald eyes.  
  
"Well, get back to work then. You've been slacking off this morning - sleeping when you should have been writing up case reports." With that, Hisoka withdrew his hand and walked back to his desk as though nothing had happened. Somehow he missed the physical contact with Tsuzuki. He sat down again at his desk and picked up his pen. He was about to start writing again when he heard Tsuzuki softly mumble,  
  
"It's not my fault that I'm tired . . . I needed to get up early to give Soka-chan his breakfast . . . otherwise he wouldn't eat anything . . . mou, this still hurts. . ." Hisoka heard Tsuzuki's muffled complaints, but pretended that he had not heard. However, when Tsuzuki looked up to see what Hisoka was doing, he saw a faint blush on Hisoka's cheeks and knew that he had heard.  
  
'Awww, Hisoka is so cute when he blushes.'  
  
"Shut up, baka, and get to work!" Hisoka stood up rather abruptly and, still blushing, left the office.  
  
'Hmm, maybe I'll need to work on my shields again.' Tsuzuki chuckled and, picking up a pen, started to write.  
  
~~~~***~~~~  
  
Watari bustled around his lab, trying to gather up all the beakers that could still be used. He stopped for a moment, absentmindedly stroking 003's feathers, and surveyed what was left of his lab.  
  
'At least the computer is still alive.' Watari cheerfully thought. 'Hmm . . . now, how to get Tatsumi to give me more money for repairs . . .'  
  
"Watari? Are you free righ . . . what happened?" Hisoka walked into the lab, looking at the mess of dissolved worktops and melted beakers. "I guess that this was another failed attempt at a gender changing potion?" Hisoka delicately picked his way around shattered glass and various other unidentifiable things on the floor.  
  
"Eh heh, yeah . . . but that's beside the point. What did you need?" Watari straightened up, flicking his curly blonde hair back over his shoulder.  
  
"I need an ice-pack. Do you have one in the infirmary? Tsuzuki, being the silly baka that he is, fell asleep and hit his head on his table. Now he's complaining like hell, and I need to shut him up."  
  
Watari studied Hisoka's face. He was a scientist, so naturally, he was very observant (as long as he had his glasses), and he had learnt to read the emotions of those he knew well, even though he was not an empath. He could see that Hisoka was not actually angry, and behind that irritated mask, he was very concerned about Tsuzuki. It was quite sweet of him to actually go all the way to find him for an ice pack just because Tsuzuki had bumped his head. He laughed quietly to himself and turned around, heading for the infirmary.  
  
"Yes, I do, as a matter of fact." He opened the freezer in the little office attached to the infirmary. "And speaking of you and Tsuzuki, what actually happened this morning? Tsuzuki seemed a bit down and distracted when I came across him and you looked like you had just run the 3000m." Watari chuckled lightly, handing over the ice pack.  
  
" . . . Nothing happened. I told you." Hisoka snapped, turning away from Watari and fidgeting a little. " . . . Thanks for the help, I'll see you later. Oh, and I think you should clean up the lab before Tatsumi finds out."  
  
Hisoka headed out of the lab, and made his way back to his office.  
  
'He's getting better at evading questions.' Watari cocked his head and looked at 003, who had flown off his shoulder and was now perched on one of the cupboards unaffected by the acid. "But he won't escape from this great scientist's interrogations! I will keep on asking and asking! I will not let him change the subject this time . . . he should understand that I only want to help. Hmmph, did he think that he could sidetrack me by mentioning Tatsumi?"  
  
"Who mentioned me?" A deep voice came from the doorway. "And why would you be sidetracked if my name was mentioned?" Tatsumi opened the lab doors and took a step into the lab. Watari frantically tried to push Tatsumi back out again, but his efforts were in vain.  
  
Standing in front of his office door, and in the process of opening it, Hisoka noticed the shadows around him dance wildly for a second, and then,  
  
"WATARI YUTAKA! WHAT IS THIS?"  
  
The corners of Hisoka's mouth twitched upwards.  
  
'Well, I did warn him.'  
  
~~~To Be Continued~~~  
  
Lina: Well, another chapter done! And just in time for Christmas! Consider this my present to you guys! :) Hehe, it's another fast update! Hope you guys liked this chapter. I promise there will be some Watari and Tatsumi moments soon, please be patient.  
  
And I'm sorry if the fic is getting kinda boring . . . I thought I just needed to set the scene and show Hisoka doing something nice. He's so kawaii when he's being nice, ne? XD I just thought it would be more believable to the readers if he was nice to Tsuzuki in his cute little quiet way to show that he does care for Tsuzuki and that it's not like he suddenly decided to have feelings for Tsuzuki. I hope you guys understand.  
  
And answers to reviewers: (Yay! I got more reviews! XD *goes starry eyed*)  
  
Konnie-chan: I'm so glad you like my ficcie! You know, I was the anonymous Lina (you know, the one that lives in London?) that always reviewed your fic 'A Smile Upon my Face'. I decided to get my own account and start writing too! I'm so glad you reviewed and you like my work, cos I love yours! XD Hope you like this chapter too. :)  
  
Yuki Kurai: Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you like my writing. I don't think Hisoka was too pleased with me calling him a 'mutated tomato' . . . hehe. Hmm . . . I've never heard of Demon Diary *hides in fear of those who are avid fans and who will now want to kill me*. Is it good? If the characters remind you of Yami no Matsuei then it must be pretty good! I will go check it out. *goes off to search on google* Hope you stick around! ^^  
  
Well, that's all for this update! Hope you guys like it. See you all in the next update. Oh, and just a little word of warning, umm, it might take a little while to be updated, cos I need to sort out the plot for this fic and I have loads of revision to do (stupid tests!). But I will try to update soon, k? :)  
  
Merry Christmas everyone! (Hopefully, this will get updated before the new year, but just in case, hope you guys have a very happy new year as well!)  
  
Please R&R, I live on reviews! XD Arigatou all for reading! 


	4. Chapter 4: A Lover's Quarrel

Of Dreams and Reality By LinaLau  
  
Hello everyone! Hope you guys had a good Christmas! As you can see, I have updated again! And I have updated relatively fast! XD Rejoice people, rejoice. I'm suddenly getting lots of inspiration; I wrote this chapter in under 2 hours! O_o  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei. Yoko Matsushita does, but unfortunately, I do not. *sob sob* Warnings: A bit of fluffy shounen ai, but that is to be expected cos it's YnM fanfiction . . . so if you don't like it, hit the back button now. Those of you who are still here, enjoy the fluffiness! XD  
  
Spoilers: None in this chapter, but there maybe spoilers in later ones. This is set after the Kyoto arc of the anime and manga.  
  
Additional Notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words and ~~~~***~~~~ = scene change  
  
Now, I present to you, Of Dreams and Reality, Chapter 4! Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 4: A Lover's Quarrel  
  
Watari cowered in fear as the shadows danced around him, circling him threateningly. Tatsumi was standing at the entrance to the lab, his arms crossed. Suddenly, he looked a lot taller and a lot more imposing than he really was.  
  
"WATARI YUTAKA! WHAT IS THIS?"  
  
"Ehh, Tatsumi . . . calm down . . . I can explain this . . . umm, you see, I-I was umm . . ."  
  
Watari took a step backwards, in hope of putting some distance between him and the currently enraged secretary. His foot, however, struck a large blob of unrecognisable origin, and he tripped inelegantly backwards and landed in a disarrayed heap upon the floor.  
  
'Damn, I'm even more helpless now on the floor . . . can't even attempt to run for it.' The shadows continued to swirl around him, closing in slightly. Watari brought his hand up to sweep his long curly hair, which had slipped out of his orange ribbon, back away from his face. Suddenly, the shadows stilled and returned to their rightful positions. Watari looked around him, bemused.  
  
"Why the sudden change of . . ." He was cut off when he noticed that Tatsumi's face was now inches away from his own.  
  
"Give me your hands, let me see!" Watari brought his hands up to his own eye level and for the first time noticed that they were bleeding and cut. "Watari, you should have learnt by now to clean up the lab after one of your stupid explosions before you do anything else! Look! The glass on the floor has cut your hands!"  
  
Watari looked down at his already healing hands. He considered whether to correct Tatsumi on the fact that the lab had not been spontaneously combusted, but dissolved. However, he thought better of it, as Tatsumi would only get mad again, and . . . he liked the fact that Tatsumi was only a few mere inches away from him and was concerned about him. There was no point in ruining the atmosphere.  
  
Tatsumi took Watari's hands into his own larger ones and helped the fallen scientist up. "Come on; let's get the blood off you." He dragged Watari to the infirmary (which was conveniently situated next to Watari's lab) and started to wipe Watari's now fully healed hands with a neat white handkerchief that he produced out of the breast pocket of his own suit.  
  
"Oh great . . . I've got it in my hair too! Uggghh, stupid ribbon . . . should have kept hair in place. Oh well, I'll just have to wash it." Watari peered at his own reflection in the mirror. He studied his now red streaked hair. "Hmm, maybe I should consider getting red streaks in my hair. It looks pretty interesting with the blonde."  
  
"You will do no such thing, Watari Yutaka." Tatsumi finished carefully wiping the blood off Watari's hands. He looked at his handkerchief, which had previously been white. It now looked as if someone had done a blotched job of dying it red. He considered it for a moment, and then threw it into the trash can. Looking down and blushing ever so slightly, he continued, "I like your hair just the way it is right now. Don't change it."  
  
He turned away and washed his hands at the little basin in the infirmary. Straightening up, he turned back to face a rather flustered Watari. "Please be careful next time and don't hurt yourself again." His tone was gentle and he looked at Watari with concerned eyes. He shook his head slightly. "You make me worry sometimes, you know."  
  
Watari looked down at the floor. It was rare for the usually strict and cold hearted secretary to show such compassion, and Watari knew that Tatsumi was truly worried about him. "I'm sorry for making you worry Tatsumi." He looked up again at the secretary. His eyes suddenly glistened mischievously and he smiled widely. "Does that mean you'll give me extra money to get my lab back in order?"  
  
"No, it certainly does not! That money will be going out of your pay check." Tatsumi regained his brisk and business-like manner. He went back to the lab, followed by Watari. Scanning the scene before him, Tatsumi took notice on where the damage had been done and mentally calculated how much extra money it would cost the division to get it repaired. He sighed to himself. Tsuzuki was bad enough, what with wrecking the library every time he set foot in it, now Watari had to go and melt half of his lab as well!  
  
"And who was it that mentioned me? You seemed to have been muttering to yourself rather heatedly before I came in." Tatsumi walked around the lab, inspecting the damage done by the acid.  
  
"Oh, Bon was just here. He had to get an ice pack, cos Tsuzuki fell asleep and hit his head." Watari also walked around the lab, trying to find a dust pan and a broom. "By the way, do you know what happened between them this morning? Both of them were acting kind of odd."  
  
"Kind of odd? What do you mean?" Tatsumi, finding the broom amongst the mess of Watari's lab handed it to him.  
  
Watari accepted the broom with a nod of thanks. "Oh, well, Bon was blushing like mad and Tsuzuki seemed distracted. Actually, I think both of them were pretty distracted, like they had a lot of stuff on their mind." He started to sweep up bits of shattered glass and various other objects.  
  
Tatsumi stood for a moment, contemplating what Watari had just said. "I think it is best for the two of them to work out whatever it is between themselves." He crossed his arms again. "It is not our business to solve their problems."  
  
Watari laughed lightly. "You have always been a discreet person, Tatsumi. But I guess you're right, we should leave them to work through their lover's quarrels." He stopped sweeping the floor and stood, leaning on the broom.  
  
"Lover's quarrels? I don't recall the two of them being romantically involved - partners, yes, but lovers?"  
  
"Oh come on, Tatsumi, don't tell me you haven't noticed the two of them getting closer. It's only a matter of time before they will get together. The big question is, who's going to make the first move?"  
  
~~~~***~~~~  
  
In their shared office, Tsuzuki and Hisoka both sneezed simultaneously.  
  
"Bless you!" two voices said at the same time.  
  
There was a moment of silence in the office, as the two shinigami in it stared at each other from opposite desks. After a while, Tsuzuki (who had previously been playing with the ice pack that Hisoka had brought him earlier) started to laugh uncontrollably. Hisoka blushed and looked away, embarrassed.  
  
CRASH~~ Tsuzuki fell off his chair, laughing hysterically. He sat on the floor, with shoulders shaking from mirth, and continued to laugh. Hisoka, startled by the crash got up immediately and knelt in front of Tsuzuki.  
  
"Hey, are you ok?" He asked Tsuzuki, with a hint of worry in his tone.  
  
"I'm . . . hehe . . . f-f-f- . . . hehe" Tsuzuki attempted to answer Hisoka's question but could not control his laughter.  
  
'Baka. Probably hit his head when he fell off the chair.'  
  
Tsuzuki collapsed on top of Hisoka and continued to laugh uncontrollably. Hisoka, surprised by Tsuzuki's sudden lurch, stayed where he was and let Tsuzuki rest his head on his shoulder. Hisoka knew that he should shout, and swat Tsuzuki away, like he usually did, but he felt a strange sense of reluctance . . . it felt comforting with Tsuzuki leaning on him, it felt . . . *right*, as though he belonged there. And so he stayed where he was, sitting on the floor, with Tsuzuki leaning on him.  
  
The light curtains of the office fluttered slightly in the breeze, and the soft dappled sunlight that came through the window illuminated the two shinigami. The papers on the desks lay forgotten, and the world seemingly stopped for a moment, as Hisoka smiled ever so softly, and tentatively wrapped his arms around his partner.  
  
~~~To Be Continued~~~  
  
Lina: Another chapter done - and it was done really quickly! I'm going through a productive phase right now. I hope it's not going to leave me soon though. ^^;; Or maybe I'll use up all my productivity. Oh well, I hope you guys liked this chapter, it's more fluffy than the other chapters, I think. But I like fluff . . . XD And I hope that the characters are also not too OOC. O_o  
  
Answers to Reviews: (More reviews! I'm sooooo happy! Thank you everyone!)  
  
Sheilkuroi: Hehe, as you can see, Tatsumi wasn't really hard on Watari at all! I love Watari . . . I wouldn't let him get beaten up by Tatsumi! :) I know, Hisoka and Tsuzuki are just so right for each other. You know, I was thinking that would make a great picture as well! Hmm, I might decide to do some companion pieces of art for this fic. Like, I was soooo seeing the last scene of this chapter with Hisoka and Tsuzuki as a picture! XD  
  
Innocent passerby: I'm glad you like this fic! :) Yep, Hisoka and Tsuzuki are also my favourite pairing of the manga! They're just so kawaii together. I can't wait for them to get together too, but I need to write out all the chapters that will lead up to it first . . . hehe. You'll just have to sit it out and wait until I finish this fic! Thanks for reviewing! XD  
  
Yuki Kurai: Yay, somebody finds this fic interesting! Hope you liked this chapter. ^^ And I updated quickly again! Hehe. Hmm, I think I will go and get the Demon Diary manga when I have time. It's done by a Chinese mangaka, which is unusual and it sounds very interesting. :) I want to be a mangaka myself and I'm Chinese so I'm always greatly encouraged when I see good manga which are not just drawn by Japanese people. (But I don't have anything against Japanese mangakas, don't get me wrong!) Thanks for reviewing! :)  
  
Lexa1: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like this fic, and here's the update! :) It's a bit of a late Christmas present now though. Hehe. :) Hope you stick around . . . and I'll try not to take too long updating this fic, but unfortunately, studying does seem to get in the way a bit. ^^  
  
Penny: Arigatou for reviewing! I'm glad you find this fic cute. I love fluffy fics myself, which is probably why I'm writing a fluffy fic right now, hehe . . . hope you liked this chapter! :)  
  
Lockeheart: Thank you so much for reviewing! It makes me so happy that a writer I like is reviewing my fic! XD Indeed, this is my first ever piece of fanfiction . . . and as to the plot, well, I'm still not totally sure what to do with it yet. I have a vague outline as to where I want to go with it, but I'm not sure I like the plot I have. In fact, it seems like it doesn't really have much of a plot. ^^;; Hmm, must work harder on it and come up with ideas. *nods* Anyways, thanks for your advice! And I will continue writing, as it is one of the things that I love doing the most, along with drawing . . . it's so relaxing for me. ^^ I'm really glad you like my work, and I hope you like this chapter as well. :)  
  
Konnie-chan: Hehe, Watari does tend to blow up his lab a lot. ^^ But this time, he actually dissolved it! He's so cute though . . . hehe. Yay! You're gona update on Sunday! *cheers and claps hands* I'm glad you like this fic, and as you can see, I have updated! XD You know, this fic is turning into one loooong story. I never intended it to be though. It was supposed to be a one-shot! Oh well. The more words the merrier. Yeah! TsuSoka and TaTari forever! :D  
  
Well, that's it for this update. Hope you guys liked it! Please R&R it'll make me *really* happy if you review, and it really helps the writer if they get some feedback on what they've done! I live on reviews! XD Arigatou all for reading! See you all next time. ^^ Happy new year, everyone! 


	5. Chapter 5: Light and Shadow

Of Dreams and Reality By LinaLau  
  
Hey everyone! I'm really really sorry for the update that has taken so long. I had written this out, but I wasn't happy with what I had written so I had to rewrite it all over again. And then studying got in the way, and other various things . . . Gomen everyone! I'll try not to take so long to update again.  
  
Well, this is kinda like my new year's present to all you guys! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, Yoko Matsushita does, so we should all thank her for creating it. I'm a poor penniless student who can't even earn the minimum wage right now, seeing as I'm not 18 yet, so please don't sue me, ok?  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, but not much fluffiness this time round. This chapter is more angsty . . . but fluff will make a reappearance soon! ^_^  
  
Spoilers: Umm, for basically the whole series, up to the end of the Kyoto arc, so the whole anime.  
  
Additional Notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words and  
  
~~~~***~~~~ = scene change  
  
Chapter 5: Light and Shadow  
  
Tsuzuki had been laughing.  
  
He had been laughing for ten minutes, with Hisoka's arms around him. But somehow, in the midst of his laughter, Tsuzuki had started to cry. The tears that streamed down from Tsuzuki's eyes were starting to soak Hisoka's thin white shirt; but Hisoka took no notice of them.  
  
He buried his face into Tsuzuki's soft chocolate brown hair and gently whispered words of comfort to him, trying to soothe the crying man in his arms. Tsuzuki clung closer to Hisoka, as though he were a little child clinging to his beloved teddy bear, and continued to cry.  
  
"Shh, Tsuzuki . . . its ok, don't cry . . ." Hisoka ran his hands through Tsuzuki's hair. "Don't cry . . ."  
  
Even though nearly everything had returned to normal after the Kyoto incident, Tsuzuki was not the same. He remained the same outwardly; always begging for sweets, turning inu whenever things did not go his way and always smiling, but Hisoka could see that the scars of the damage done by Muraki were still there, and the wounds in Tsuzuki's mind were still fresh.  
  
He had hidden it well, under his mask of cheerfulness, but Hisoka could sense, could *see*, the undercurrent of hurt, rejection, betrayal and simmering hate that was behind the well practiced façade. He was, after all, Tsuzuki's partner.  
  
Tsuzuki stilled, his erratic shaking ceased, and his anguished sobs quietened down. He sniffled now and again, but seemed to have finished crying. Slowly, he drew back from Hisoka again, and looked away, out of the window and up at the midday sun.  
  
"I'm sorry . . ." Tsuzuki sniffed. His mental shields were cracking slightly, though he did not know it. The psychological strain of his memories and of the guilt that he felt were starting to show. Hisoka could sense Tsuzuki's confusing mix of emotions; sometimes strongly, sometimes vaguely, like a badly tuned radio. Tsuzuki's walls were beginning to crumble.  
  
"It's fine . . . just remember to use tissues and not my shirt next time . . . Baka . . ."  
  
"Thank you, Hisoka." Tsuzuki reached out again and pulled Hisoka into a hug.  
  
"B-baka . . . s-s-stop . . ." Hisoka, surprised by Tsuzuki's sudden action, tried to escape, but Tsuzuki's arms around him were too strong.  
  
Suddenly, flashes of emotions that did not belong to Hisoka invaded his mind; he was being dragged into someone else's mind . . . he felt himself fall to the ground, and warm arms wrap around him, cradling him, but then he knew no more.  
  
The joy of eating chocolate cake . . .  
  
The amusement in watching a certain blonde haired youth sulk . . .  
  
The need to protect the one he loved . . .  
  
And . . . a familiar feeling . . . a sad feeling . . . a little bitter . . . but also tinged with a little longing . . .  
  
Was he in his own mind? Or was he in Tsuzuki's? Hisoka couldn't tell. The same emotion that he felt everyday was there, he could feel it, almost touch it, if it had physical form. But was it Tsuzuki who felt it . . . or was it himself? Or maybe it was both of them. He felt as though he was floating in a sea of emotions both from himself and from Tsuzuki. It was impossible to know who was feeling what.  
  
Again, that pang of strong emotion, something nameless that Hisoka could not quite place . . . but through the fog that surrounded Hisoka, he saw a figure slowly emerge. Little by little, the figure became clearer, and Hisoka was left staring at his own reflection. That familiar yet foreign emotion swamped Hisoka's senses again, stronger this time, and he understood. Realisation dawned on Hisoka just as he regained consciousness.  
  
"Hisoka~~~~~! Hisoka~~~~~! Wake up!" Hisoka opened his eyes to find an inu Tsuzuki looking down at him. "You're awake! Hisoka, I'm so sorry . . ." Hisoka felt something warm and wet land on his cheek - Tsuzuki's fresh tears.  
  
He sat up slowly, blinking, his mind still in chaos after what had happened. Tsuzuki apologised again and again, but Hisoka did not hear any of his words. He sat there for a while, dazed, with Tsuzuki fussing around him, like a protective mother hen.  
  
He stood up abruptly and strode to the door, opening it. Tsuzuki move towards the door too, to try to follow Hisoka, but Hisoka stopped him.  
  
"I . . . want to be alone . . . please, just let me have some time to . . . to think. I'm sorry, Tsuzuki . . ."  
  
Hisoka turned around and walked out of the office, swaying slightly. The door closed with a soft thud, and Tsuzuki was left on the other side, with a growing sense of guilt and self loathe. It felt as though he had been abandoned. He dropped to his knees on the floor, and tears streamed silently down his face once again, rewetting the previously dried tear tracks. But this time, there was no Hisoka to comfort him.  
  
He had been so happy when Hisoka had hugged him, but as the joy permeated through his brain like the warm summer sun, the inescapable shadow of guilt had spread, and so he had started to cry, too weak to push the guilt and the countless memories away. How could he be happy when he did not deserve it? Hisoka would never love a monster like him; he deserved far better.  
  
Tsuzuki had thought that Hisoka had finally accepted him, and that perhaps he trusted him enough to let him witness the real Hisoka, the one behind the mask that he always wore. It had seemed like a dream, those precious few minutes when Hisoka had hugged him and then comforted him. But now reality hit him, and his happiness and all his hopes crashed down around him. He smiled bitterly.  
  
Yes, that was all that it had been; an illusion, a dream. But Tsuzuki couldn't help but wish that he had never woken from that dream.  
  
~~~To Be Continued~~~  
  
Lina: The chapter with the most angst so far! It's finally done. I'm sorry this took me so long to write, but I didn't like what I had written, and then reality got into the way. I'll try to update sooner next time, ok? Gomen nasai!  
  
Answers to Reviews:  
  
Yuki Kurai: Well, here's the next chapter, and I'm sooooo sorry for the really slow update. ;_; I'll try to be better with my updating in the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing! ^_^  
  
Penny: Well, there is a bit of fluff in this one, but its more angst than fluff . . . but I'll write some fluffy stuff soon! Probably in the Watari and Tatsumi scenes . . . *nods and starts to plan out cute fluffy TatTari stuff*  
  
Celeste: Thank you for reviewing! And I'm really glad you like this fic! I personally got drawn into the whole shounen ai world of manga through Yami no Matsuei. Before that, I never knew it existed *shock horror!* I hope you liked this chapter! ^^  
  
NaStUkO-ChAn: Well, you've seen what happens now! Hehe. I hope you liked this chapter. But you'll see Hisoka opening up to Tsuzuki soon! Just wait for a little while more. Thanks so much for reviewing! ^^  
  
Ace of Time: Thank you for reviewing! As you can see, I have updated, and I hope you liked this chapter too, even though it's less kawaii than the previous ones. I'll try to update sooner next time. ^^;;  
  
Ok, well, everyone, that's it for now, but I promise I'll try to be faster at updating in the future. Happy New Year everyone! 


	6. Chapter 6: Witness

Of Dreams and Reality By LinaLau  
  
Hey everyone! As you can see, I have updated again . . . but unfortunately, I don't think that I'll be able to update for 2 weeks after this. I'm sorry, but I have some extremely important exams starting today that last for 2 weeks (French and English down, another 7 subjects to go . . .), and I don't think that I will have any time to update, as the stupid annoying thing called studying will get in the way. Gomen nasai, everyone! *bows apologetically*  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, Yoko Matsushita does, so don't sue me, ok?  
  
Warnings: shounen ai, this is a Tsusoka and Tatari fic (though in this chapter it's more Tatari. ^^)  
  
Spoilers: This is set after the Kyoto arc, so there will be spoilers for the whole series basically.  
  
Additional Notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words, ~~~~****~~~~ = scene change  
  
Chapter 6: Witness  
  
Hisoka walked away from the door, dazed. He was shocked and confused after what had just happened. The familiar background emotions and noises of the office were around him, but though his shields had been considerably shaken and were letting some of those feelings through, for once, he took no notice of them. He had no interest in analysing others' emotions when he could not determine what he was feeling himself. And so, he did not take notice of the obvious pangs of guilt that were assaulting his senses from behind the closed door of his and Tsuzuki's office. He was not ignoring Tsuzuki's emotions deliberately, but rather, he was so dazed that he did not realise that they were there, battering at his mental shields.  
  
Somehow, in his current state of mind, Hisoka could not comprehend any thoughts, and, had he been asked by Tatsumi, he would have failed to complete even the most simple of tasks. A part of his brain was telling him to pull himself together again, and face reality, but the other, and larger, part of his brain was still focused on the deep recesses of his mind, turning over and trying to make some sense of what he had just felt from Tsuzuki and what he felt himself. It was ironic. He was the empath and he could analyse the emotions of strangers to the point where he knew every single thing that they were feeling and why they were feeling it, yet he could not make any sense of his very own emotions.  
  
He wondered why he felt so confused inside . . . and what was the emotion that had surged forward so strongly from Tsuzuki? It was the same emotion that Hisoka felt. It had always been there, that strangely familiar emotion, in the back of his mind, shying just out of his comprehension. Whenever he had tried to grasp it more strongly, it would slip away, just like sand to the tide, flowing away fluidly and silently just as he reached it. But now, he had nailed it down. He had felt it so strongly, coming from Tsuzuki that he could discern what that emotion was made up of.  
  
Suddenly, Hisoka stopped dead in his tracks. He was slowly drifting back into reality, and he had started to register again all the different emotions that were slipping through his cracked shields. One particular emotion brought him, with a snap, out of his retrospective and contemplative state.  
  
There it was again . . . that feeling, of sadness, bitterness and longing. It was coming from one of the doors to his right, and he turned to look at the source of where it was coming from. He looked up, and read the slightly scruffy sign (as though it had seen and survived many explosions) that read 'Watari's Lab'. One of the double doors was open, and Hisoka could see two figures standing in the lab, talking.  
  
"Oh come on, Tatsumi, don't tell me you haven't noticed the two of them getting closer. It's only a matter of time before they will get together. The big question is, who's going to make the first move?" Watari's cheerful voice drifted out into the corridor. Hisoka, who had moved closer to the door, could see Tatsumi and Watari clearly. Watari was leaning on a broom, with a pile of broken glass and melted material at his feet, and Tatsumi had his back to the scientist, with his head half turned backwards.  
  
Again, the indefinable feeling stabbed at Hisoka's senses, more strongly than before this time. The source of this feeling came from Tatsumi. Yet, behind that emotion, Hisoka could feel another one, waiting to emerge, as though it were a newly hatched bird about to fly high into the sky.  
  
"Indeed, and I hope that they will make each other very happy . . . and that he can make him forget all his fear and sorrow . . . something that I was not able to do." Tatsumi bowed his head. He had tried so hard to cheer Tsuzuki up, but every time, after a case, Tsuzuki would fall into his depressed state, and whatever he tried to do, he had not been able to bring Tsuzuki back from his silence and tears. Watching helplessly had almost broken his heart, and walking away from Tsuzuki had been even harder. But it had to be done.  
  
"Come on, Tatsumi, don't be like this!" Watari approached the bowed secretary slowly, and placed a gloved hand onto his shoulder comfortingly. "There's no point beating yourself up about it. It wasn't your fault . . . be happy at least that Tsuzuki has finally found the one person that can truly understand him and support him."  
  
Tatsumi looked up into the blonde scientist's face and smiled. He placed his own hand above Watari's and gave it a squeeze. "You're right . . . thank you, Watari." He closed his eyes, the small smile remaining. He leant towards Watari, their hands still holding each other. Watari brought his other hand up to wrap around Tatsumi and he bowed down slightly himself, so he was level with Tatsumi.  
  
Watari looked at Tatsumi's handsome features, and his gaze softened slightly. Tatsumi opened his eyes, when he sensed Watari moving, and found himself staring straight into the amber eyes of the scientist, only inches away. He didn't know who moved first, but he found himself tilting his head upwards, and Watari leant down a few more inches, and their lips met, ever so softly.  
  
The sun had risen to its peak now, and its bright rays pierced through the large windows of the lab, reflecting off the white table tops and the metal equipment. Watari and Tatsumi were swallowed up in that dazzling white light, until all that Hisoka could see were their dark figures, hands joined, kissing each other in the middle of the lab, surrounded by the debris of Watari's most recent failure.  
  
Hisoka felt that familiar emotion disperse, and the hidden one behind it finally spread its wings. Watching from the doorway, he witnessed the whole scene, and he finally understood what the feeling that had dogged him for so long was:  
  
Unrequited love.  
  
~~~To Be Continued~~~  
  
Lina: Last chapter before a 2 week break from writing it! ;_; I don't wanna stop writing this for 2 weeks - but unfortunately, real life is getting in the way. dammit. Oh well, I hope you guys will be patient and wait for my next update, I'm sorry everyone! Did you guys like this chappie? All the Tatari fans out there, did you think this was alright? I promise there'll be Tsusoka in the next chappie . . . you know, this fic is nearing its end! O_o Is that a good thing? Or is it a bad thing?  
  
Answers to reviewers:  
  
Yuki Kurai: Hehe, here's the action! Well, some of the action anyway . . . I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I hope this one was alright as well. :)  
  
Nikki: This chappie has less angst in it, I think. . . the Hisoka and Tsuzuki action will arrive soon! Stick around for it, ne? Thank you for reviewing and I'm really happy that you like this fic! ^^  
  
Penny: They will cuddle soon! And Hisoka doesn't know what he did to poor Tsuzuki . . . I'm mean. . . . making Tsuzuki suffer like that. Hehe. Oh well, here's a dose of fluff for you! Hope you liked the chappie! :)  
  
LYK: Well, you'll have to wait to see how Hisoka acts around Tsuzuki! Thanks for reviewing! And more angst in this chappie, but also a nice dollop of fluff to sweeten the atmosphere! Thanks for reviewing! ^^  
  
Tenshiamanda: Tsuzuki will be cheered up soon! As soon as Hisoka tidies up his mind! Hehe. Thanks for reviewing! Hope you stick around. ^^  
  
Luni Sedai (nsi): Hehe, of course you are someone! Thank you so much for reviewing! ^^ Glad you like it and hope you liked this chapter too. :)  
  
Konnie-chan: Yay! You updated! XD Glad you liked it! Here are the Watari and Tatsumi moments! Did you like the scene? *looks eagerly at Konnie-chan for approval* Well, you'll have to see how Hisoka reacts and expresses his feelings in the later chapters! So stay tuned ne? Hehe. See you at the next update! ^^  
  
Apocalipticoblivion: I'm sorry I'm gona have to make you wait. . . but I'm so happy that you like the fic! ^^ And thanks for the much needed hugs! I'm so stressed right now, what with studying and stuff. Writing this fic is relaxing for me. :) Did you like this chapter too? Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Sheilkuroi: Thanks for reviewing! ^^ Well, you'll have to wait for the next chapter for more Tsuzuki and Hisoka moments. . . . hope you liked the Tatsumi and Watari moments in this chapter! :) Sorry, I'm gona have to make you wait. Gomen!  
  
Ok, that's it for now, I'll update in 2 weeks at the latest . . . ok? Sorry for the wait everyone! Please R&R, I'd make me really happy, especially in this time of stress! ^^ 


	7. Chapter 7: Pathways

Of Dreams and Reality By LinaLau  
  
Hello everyone (if there is still anyone out there that is, seeing as I disappeared for such a long time)! I'm back! Back from the land of evil exams and other distractions! I'm still alive! I'm soooo sorry for the delay in updating . . . 3 weeks without updating, jeeze. Gomen nasai, minna! Well, the 2 weeks were because of exams . . . and then half a week was for getting all my results back . . . (By the way, I'm writing this on a major high after getting my results for the exams, forgive me if I seem a little odd - I got 97% in English literature! XD Sorry.don't want to seem like I'm boasting ^^;;, but I'm just so happy! *goes off into mad-happy- Lina-land*) and along the way I got distracted by Prince of Tennis (I have a new obsession! XD But don't worry, Yami no Matsuei is still my biggest obsession, favourite fandom and manga EVER! ^.~) and Demon Diary, after I took Yuki Kurai's advice and bought the first volume of it! It's so good! XD Thanks for recommending it!  
  
And again, I'm sorry that I took so long to update. I promise I won't take this long to update ever again! Ok, well, on with the fic then. ^^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei. I'd love to but I don't, so don't sue me, please?  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, but if you've read this far, then you should really have got the hint by now. ^^  
  
Spoilers: This is set after the Kyoto arc, so there may be spoilers in the fic.  
  
Additional Notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words and ~~~****~~~ = scene change  
  
Ok, so. on with the fic!  
  
Chapter 7: Pathways  
  
Tsuzuki wandered through the corridors of the building, aimlessly drifting. From an office here and there, he would hear sounds of laughter, or raised voices, but it did not seem like he was part of the world that he was in. He let his feet guide him to wherever they wanted, and soon, he found himself walking out of the building.  
  
The cool spring air blew softly, ruffling his hair. His trench coat blew out behind him, the metal clasps of the belt buckles clinking slightly. Tsuzuki walked with his head bowed for a while, down the wide avenue framed by pink blossoms, but he felt no comfort in pacing.  
  
He found solace under a towering sakura tree, and sat under it, arms wrapped around his knees, watching the world around him pass by with indifferent eyes through the never ending curtain of falling sakura blossoms. He gazed out at the beautiful landscape of Meifu, but felt distanced from it. He leant his head backwards, and it met the rough bark of the tree. He sat there, unaware of the passing of time, his thoughts turned inwards.  
  
~~~****~~~  
  
Hisoka understood. He understood, but that was only the beginning. He had to accept, and Hisoka understood that. He also realised it was easier said than done. He had stayed outside the lab for a while, watching the unfolding scene inside. But then, he had started to feel uncomfortable, watching as though he had been watching something that should have been private, intimate. And so, he had left, with a soft sigh of resignation. His feet moved of their own accord, uncontrolled by Hisoka's otherwise occupied mind.  
  
Was it really unrequited love anyway? How could he be sure that he was not mistaken? 'Love' was not a word to be taken lightly and used casually. He understood this more than anyone. It was laughable really, how he was contemplating an emotion that he had never truly felt before from anyone. Perhaps this was all just a dream, a fantasy that he had imagined himself. He was probably mistaken; Tsuzuki would never feel love for him. Hisoka shook his head. There was no point in doubting and questioning. Emotions never lied. Being an empath had taught him that. Denial was not the way forward.  
  
It felt like he had stepped into a world where he was foreign, where he knew no one, where he felt lost. He hated the unknown. He had learned that routine was better. There was less risk of being rejected and pushed away. It was safer. But now, he had been tossed into an unfamiliar sea, with no life belt, pulled in different directions by the strong currents that were his conflicting emotions, tossed about by the waves of confusion, denial and desire.  
  
Hisoka stopped walking. He looked out of the floor to ceiling glass windows that were to his left. The clear blue sky stretched forever onwards and Hisoka's eyes fell on the eternally blooming sakura trees. It would be peaceful forever in Meifu. He wished that this peace would permeate through into his mind too.  
  
A small figure caught his eye, sitting slumped against the trunk of one tree, with black trench coat wrapped protectively around himself.  
  
Hisoka felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. He longed to run down the stairs, out of the building, and straight into the arms of the man sitting there but he knew that if he did that, he would only hurt Tsuzuki even more. Before he could attempt to figure out and help his partner, he had to figure out and help himself. Before he could answer Tsuzuki's need to accept him, he had to accept himself. It was pointless to stay in this state of limbo; he was doing no one any good. He had to accept it or reject it. The decision was his to make. No one could help him now. Watari and Tatsumi had given him the key. All he had to do was to either unlock the door, and open it to find out what was on the other side, or to flush the key down the toilet and board up the door, and Hisoka knew which route he wanted to go down - he didn't want to loose Tsuzuki a second time. He also knew that he could never turn back from the path he had chosen, once he had taken the first step.  
  
Hisoka lifted a hand to touch the cool glass. The few millimetres of glass was the only thing separating him and Tsuzuki physically, but he knew that the wall between him and Tsuzuki mentally was a lot thicker. Hisoka had learned all his life the importance of building up mental walls, to keep anyone out and to prevent anyone from getting into his heart. It was ironic that he now wanted to break down all those walls and to let Tsuzuki into his heart.  
  
Though it was the path that he had chosen to walk, he understood that it was dangerous . . . not only for him, but also for Tsuzuki. Once you let someone into your heart, you could be hurt, and similarly, you could hurt others. Love was a double edged sword, to be wielded with care.  
  
It was a gamble, in some ways. It was all or nothing. Would he run the risk of loosing Tsuzuki, should he hurt him? Hisoka was torn again. The door, like Pandora's Box, once opened, could unleash more ways in which Hisoka could hurt Tsuzuki, and Hisoka could not bear the thought of himself hurting Tsuzuki. But there had been something else in Pandora's Box too; though it had freed many different evils into the world, by opening it, hope had also been freed. If he opened the door, then the love that they both felt for each other could blossom, and perhaps in time, grow to be strong enough to overcome the hardships that would assault them.  
  
He turned away from the window. Hisoka had decided. With his gaze fixed on the distant gleam of hope, he looked up and, step by step, began to walk down the path that he had chosen.  
  
~~To Be Continued~~  
  
Lina: Weeeee~~~! Another chapter done! It's a rather reflective chapter . . . I dunno if anyone noticed, but there was no speech and no thoughts in this chapter, just . . . um, a whole load of angsting, really! Hehe. Fluffiness will make a return soon though, I promise!  
  
Answers to Reviewers: (Oh my god! I have 41 reviews! I'm so happy, Arigatou everybody!)  
  
Apocalypticoblivion: Hehe, well, I have updated, and indeed, reality does tend to get in the way of things. It's annoying. It'd be nice if I could live in my own little dream world and read manga and watch anime all day, but unfortunately I can't. ^^ Hope you liked this chapter! I'll update soon, promise!  
  
Yuki Kurai: Well, Hisoka is in love . . . and things should get interesting from now on, hopefully. Some Hisoka and Tsuzuki action coming up! ^^ Thanks for reviewing, and sorry for the looooong time it took to update. *bows apologetically* Gomen! And thanks for mentioning Demon Diary, I just bought it and I love it!!!! XD So cute!  
  
Stacy: Hehe, Soka-chan is in love. Thanks for reviewing, and there'll be even more action in the upcoming chapters, so hope you stick around! :)  
  
Sheilkuroi: Thanks for the really nice comments! Hehe, Hisoka's got his own little cheerleading squad now, ne? *laughs* ^^ Here's the update, hope you liked the chapter!  
  
Penny: Sorry, there's no fluff this time round, well, not much anyway. But I promise there will be some in the next chapter! Thank you for reviewing! ^^  
  
Hikari-neko: Thank you for reviewing, as you can see I'm still writing, even though you may think that I am dead. Gomen for the long delay . . . hope you liked the chapter! *glomps*  
  
Kaori-chan: So sorry to have kept you waiting for so long! Gomen! Hope you like the update. ^^ Thank you so much for reviewing!  
  
LYK: Well, I had a hard time deciding what to do with Hisoka, which was part of the reason why this update took so damn long . . . I tried to keep him in character, so he did kinda fight it a little bit, but then accepted it, cos he realised it was for the greater good of himself and everyone around him . . . and the whole of the Tsusoka fandom out there, hehe! ^^ I hope it's alright . . . Thank you for reviewing!  
  
Konnie-chan: I finally updated . . . I think my record is worse than yours now . . . 3 weeks without an update! -_- I'm glad you approved of the Tatari in the last chapter. ^^ I'm thinking about whether to have them appear again before the end or not (seeing as the fic is nearing it's end). . . what do you think? And don't beat yourself up about updating - I know how hard it is and sometimes you just get distracted . . . *looks at the HUGE pile of Prince of Tennis Anime DVDs and piles of manga on desk next to computer* It's a wonder I managed to pass all my exams! ^^  
  
Kira-m: I'm sorry bout taking so long to update . . . I promise I'll be good and never take so long again! And I'm really glad you like it! ^^ Thank you for reviewing!  
  
xXLil Yu JahXx: Thank you for reviewing! And I have continued! Hope you like this chapter too. ^^  
  
Tenshiamada: Hehe, thank you for reviewing! Hope you liked this chapter . . . more action is coming soon!  
  
Ace of Time: Oh no! You're sick! I hope you're recovered . . . *thinks for a sec* wait, you probably are, seeing as it's been 3 weeks, ne? Hehe. Sorry for the long delay in updates . . . And I'm really glad you like my writing! ^^ Tsusoka fanfics are indeed to be loved! My favourite couple! XD Don't worry, I love long reviews! Hehe, hope you liked this chapter too!  
  
Moonlightgoddess: I'm really glad that you like my fic! ^^ Thank you for reviewing . . . reviews make me so happy. *eyes turn all big and chibi- like, complete with sparkly bits* I've updated, as you can see, hehe, and I hope you like this chapter too! :D  
  
Thank you everyone for reading, and please R&R, it makes me so happy! See you guys at the next update! (Which I promise will not take 3 weeks . . . ^^;;) 


	8. Chapter 8: Hot Chocolate

Of Dreams and Reality By LinaLau  
  
See? I updated! It didn't take 3 weeks this time. ^^;; I was gona write this chapter out on Thursday, because I didn't have school, seeing as there was a blizzard on Wednesday and the school was closed. But unfortunately, I was really ill . . . I'm only just recovering right now from a nasty cold (the third one this Winter! I would have thought that I would at least have ~some~ immunity by now, but no!). Anyways, here's Chapter 8!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, Yoko Matsushita does. Please don't sue me?  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, but if you don't like it then why are you reading Chapter 8 of this fic?  
  
Spoilers: This is set after the Kyoto arc in both the manga and the anime, so it may contain spoilers here and there.  
  
Additional Notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words and ~~~****~~~ = scene change  
  
Ok, on with the fic!  
  
Chapter 8: Hot Chocolate  
  
A tall shadow fell over Tsuzuki, though he made no sign that he had noticed. He continued to stare into space, indifferent to his surroundings.  
  
"Tsuzuki."  
  
Tsuzuki lifted his head from his knees and looked up at the source of the voice. His eyes were unfocused, and he seemed preoccupied and deep in thought. Tatsumi looked down at Tsuzuki and gave him a somewhat puzzled stare.  
  
"Are you feeling unwell, Tsuzuki?" Tatsumi knelt down, so he was at his eye level. "Does it hurt anywhere?"  
  
Tsuzuki turned away from Tatsumi's worried gaze and let his head fall back onto his knees. Slowly, he moved one hand and placed it over the left side of his chest, over his heart.  
  
"It hurts . . . it hurts so much . . ." His hand clenched, fisting the material of his trench coat. "Why. . ." He buried his head downwards into his knees, trying to block the world around him out. He murmured softly to himself, his words incoherent, and Tatsumi's gaze softened. Tsuzuki hadn't been in this state for a long while now - in fact, ever since he had been partnered with Hisoka. He glanced around worriedly. He was never good at comforting people, possessing a rather stoic nature himself, and it hurt to see one of his oldest and most treasured friends suffering so much in front of his eyes. "Tsuzuki . . . don't be like this . . . what happened?"  
  
Tsuzuki shook his head morosely and a few tears fell down his cheeks creating silvery glistening trails in their wake. He was shaking slightly. Tatsumi sighed softly. "Come on, we're going inside . . . you need something hot . . . look! You're shivering." He extended one hand and placed it on Tsuzuki's shoulder. He squeezed softly, a sign of reassurance, and teleported both of them to his office in an instance. Tatsumi figured it would be quicker this way, and Tsuzuki was in no state to talk, let alone walk.  
  
Tatsumi made some hot chocolate (he had become accustomed to making his own tea or coffee in his office, for fear of Watari spiking his daily dosage of caffeine) - Tsuzuki's favourite - and handed the steaming mug to Tsuzuki, who took it, but made no effort to bring the mug to his lips. Tatsumi sat down opposite him and leant forwards. "Come on, Tsuzuki, drink! You need to warm up."  
  
Tsuzuki nodded mutely and took a sip. The heat of the liquid seemed to warm him from inside and grant him some strength, both mentally and physically. He looked up and met Tatsumi's steady gaze.  
  
"Now, tell me what happened."  
  
~~~****~~~  
  
Hisoka walked out of the main doors of the building and down the stone steps. A few sakura petals drifted past him, dancing delicately in the air. Hisoka followed them with his gaze until they were lost in the myriad of pink blossoms that whirled in the sky.  
  
Hisoka was nervous, and he pulled at the sleeves of his t-shirt absent mindedly. He was not good at expressing his emotions. It was not surprising - he had spent his whole life trying to hide his emotions and keep other people's away from him. But being with Tsuzuki had changed that, even if it was only a slight improvement. He had taught him how to open up, to depend, and to love.  
  
Hisoka lifted his hand and placed it over his heart. He could feel its erratic beating, loud and uneven. He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. He was going to do this no matter what. He had understood and accepted, and now he had to find the courage to act, or he would be back at square one.  
  
He walked down the last few steps and started down the large avenue flanked by sakura trees. He reached the tree that he had seen Tsuzuki sitting under and calmed his breathing. He walked towards it, but was surprised when he found the spot empty. He circled the tree, and still, no Tsuzuki. There was no one there.  
  
Hisoka panicked slightly then - where was Tsuzuki? He had seen him sitting under this very sakura tree only minutes ago and now he had disappeared. He was angry with himself. He had missed his chance. There were only going to be so many chances, and he had just wasted one. Hisoka stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets and kicked the blossom covered ground softly.  
  
'Baka!' He wasn't sure whether he was referring to himself or to Tsuzuki. Perhaps he was referring to both of them, a hopeless pair of idiots, one for wallowing in his own misery and the other for his cluelessness and closed heart. Neither knew that they were hurting each other and suffering because of the other.  
  
What should he do now? Should he look for Tsuzuki? Hisoka shook his head. His thoughts were confused and jumbled. He needed to clear his mind. He thought about walking down the avenue, but he dismissed the thought. He felt trapped and claustrophobic here, surrounded by the blossoms, and though he had learned to differentiate these sakura petals from those of his past, they still gave him an uneasy feeling. Instead, Hisoka let his mind drift, and leave his instincts to guide him to where he would find peace.  
  
~~~****~~~  
  
"And then . . . I dunno what happened . . . but Hisoka fainted." Tsuzuki bowed his head regretfully. "I think he synchronised with me." Tatsumi leant back on his chair and sipped his coffee. "And when he woke up, he just left the office . . . and when I tried to - to - follow him . . . he said he . . . wanted to be . . . alone."  
  
Tsuzuki brought his own cup of hot chocolate to his lips again. It was still steaming slightly. He breathed in the heady fumes with the smell of chocolate and sighed heavily. "I dunno what he saw or felt when we synchronised, but I guess it wasn't something good."  
  
Tatsumi pushed his glasses up, frowning slightly in thought. Hisoka had always been reserved and slightly mysterious, but through working in the same department as him for a while now, Tatsumi had learnt to understand Hisoka and to read his actions. The two of them were actually very similar; stoic, reserved, professional and efficient.  
  
"Perhaps . . . but what would he see that you would classify as 'bad'?"  
  
"I . . . don't know . . . but maybe about my past . . ." Tsuzuki grasped the mug tightly, until his knuckles were white.  
  
"You of all people should know that Hisoka accepts you for who you are, regardless of your past." Tatsumi, having put down his now empty cup, crossed his arms. "There is something else, am I right?"  
  
Tsuzuki looked down at his feet, his curtain of chocolate brown hair hiding his face. He mumbled something that was too quiet for Tatsumi to hear.  
  
"Care to repeat that so I can actually hear what you're saying?" Tatsumi raised an eyebrow at Tsuzuki, as he looked up, red faced.  
  
"I think . . . he felt that . . . I - I think of him as someone more than just a partner . . ." Tsuzuki mumbled, but slightly louder this time so that Tatsumi could only just decipher what he had said.  
  
Tatsumi sat pondering this information for a while. It was true that Hisoka could be totally clueless sometimes; even when something was staring at him right in the face, he would choose to ignore it. But he couldn't berate him totally for that, after all, he had only just learnt to open up a little more, under the guidance of Tsuzuki.  
  
"I don't think that you should be so concerned, Tsuzuki. I understand that you may feel worried that he had left so abruptly, but sometimes, you just need a little time alone." Tatsumi brought his hands together and rested them on the table. "If he had indeed felt what you just said, then I guess he needed time to digest the information, and so wanted to be alone."  
  
Tsuzuki looked up. "Do you think so?"  
  
"Indeed. And Hisoka has never been a man of many words; he never explains himself or his actions, but he will say something if he is unhappy about something." Tatsumi smiled slightly. "If Hisoka had been unhappy about what he felt or saw, I think he would have voiced it immediately. He is not someone who would let it go without saying something, don't you think?"  
  
Tsuzuki nodded. "I guess. . ." He fiddled slightly with his shirt sleeve, still rather uncertain as to whether to believe what Tatsumi had just said.  
  
"Trust me, Tsuzuki; Hisoka will answer you in his own way. He will not leave things hanging."  
  
~~To Be Continued~~  
  
Lina: Hmm . . . this is the longest chapter so far. ^^ I thought fluff was gona make a reappearance in this chapter but I never got that far. *laughs* Oh well, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm not sure I'm totally happy with it. Tatsumi's supposedly reassuring speech was a little crap, I thought. (And I think he was kinda OOC) But I'm kinda ill right now, and I really can't think of better reasonings for it. Gomen minna! ^^;; I might come back and edit it if I think of something better when I've recovered sufficiently enough from this damned cold. *sniffs* Ok, I'm gona go back to bed now.  
  
Answers to Reviews:  
  
Tenshiamanda: Hehe, yeah, Hisoka was going to Tsuzuki, but me being the evil writer that I am didn't let them meet. D *laughs* Indeed, love shall prevail, but you'll have to wait for the next few chapters for that to happen! ^^  
  
Anime Writer2: Thanks for reviewing! XD And I'm really glad you like the fic so far. Hope this chapter was to your liking as well! ^^  
  
Apocalipticoblivion: I'm glad you liked the last chapter! ^^ Hope this one was alright. Living in my own little dream would be great! Unlimited supply of anime and manga for me to enjoy - I would love that. Hehe. Oh well, we can always dream. :)  
  
Konnie-chan: Hehe, how's the life with sheep going? XD Glad you liked the Tsuzuki avec apron. I'm glad also that you like the fic still, and I did put in a good bit of Tatsumi (did I get him in character or did I totally kill him?) in this chapter, but there will be some Tatariness in the next chapter. ^^ Only 2 more chapters to go till the end of the fic! Lol, hope you liked this chapter. ^^  
  
Ace of Time: Ohhhhh~~~~! Happy Birthday for 4th Feb! Hope you have a really great birthday. Materialistic things are always good (for me anyway) but it's the thought behind them that counts the most, ne? And we're both suffering from an illness! *laughs* Hope you get better soon, especially before your birthday! ^^  
  
Oh, and some news that I heard (and a warning; it's not good news): apparently Yoko Matsushita is not gona finish Yami no Matsuei!!!!! ;_; She's had a big dispute with her publisher or something and she is just gona leave it hanging . . . *cries* You can't leave us hanging like that in Vol. 11!!! Think of your poor, poor fans - finish it! However, it may just be a rumour, as I'm hoping that it is, cos I'd be heartbroken if she never finished this manga. I love it to bits.  
  
Ok, I'm gona go and sleep now, see you all at the next update, where I will hopefully be recovered again. ^^ And I sure damn hope that it's only a rumour. Arigatou minna for reading and please R&R! Tell me if I've made some blinding mistakes or if anything doesn't make sense -just blame it all on this cold that I have. ^^ 


	9. Chapter 9: Time

Of Dreams and Reality By Lina Lau  
  
Hey! I hope everyone had a happy Valentine's Day! Gomen nasai minna! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update again . . . but I've been totally bogged down with school work – I have 3 sketchbooks to fill by the end of this week, and ff.net has also been a bastard to me and not let me sign in for the past week, for some strange reason. ^^; But yeah, I finally updated! ^^ Oh, and I've got an account at deviantart.com now! I have a few Yami fanarts on there, so go check it out if you wanna! ^^ Here's the address: lina-lau.deviantart.com  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, still doesn't belong to me.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, but if you've read this far, you really should know by now.  
  
Spoilers: This is set after the Kyoto arc of both anime and manga, so it may contain spoilers.  
  
Additional Notes: 'Blah' = thoughts, "Blah" – spoken words and ~~~****~~~ = scene change  
  
Ok, onto the chapter!  
  
Chapter 9: Time  
  
Tatsumi smiled softly, and placed his mug of coffee onto the table. Tsuzuki continued looking into his mug of hot chocolate, deep in thought. They had been sitting like this for a while now, Tatsumi quietly sipping his coffee and Tsuzuki lost in his thoughts. Tsuzuki looked up, the motion of Tatsumi distracting him.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Tatsumi – I kinda spaced out for a bit there."  
  
"It's alright, Tsuzuki." Tatsumi stood up and placed a comforting hand on Tsuzuki's shoulder. "But we've wasted enough precious work time – if you don't go and finish doing your papers, you may have to stay overtime without pay."  
  
Tsuzuki started at the comment, and quickly got up. Though Tatsumi had commented in his usual voice, Tsuzuki had not missed the undertone of the brisk and efficient Tatsumi returning. His 'consultation' with Tatsumi the therapist was over.  
  
"Alright! I'll go do my work now!" He quickly strode to the door and opened it, preparing to dash to his office.  
  
"Ooof! Watch where you're going, Tsuzuki!" Watari rubbed his head, where it had collided with the wall when Tsuzuki had run full pelt into him. 003 hooted indignantly, hovering just above Watari's head, having avoided the worst of the collision and the impact by taking flight quickly. Tsuzuki lay sprawled on top of the blonde, his trench coat tangled rather messily with the scientist's lab coat.  
  
"Eh . . . sorry about that . . . hehehe. " Tsuzuki grinned sheepishly and got up off the floor and off Watari. "Umm . . . yeah, I gotta dash! Bye!" With a wave of his hand, Tsuzuki had run off down the corridor.  
  
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Tatsumi's amused voice came from his open doorway. He stood there, with his hands crossed, leaning on the door frame, smiling slightly. Watari got up and attempted to de-crease his lab coat and tidy his hair.  
  
"What? Is it a crime to come and visit you?" He smiled at Tatsumi, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Unless you're too busy? In that case, I'll just go and head back to my lab." He made to turn around and started to walk away from Tatsumi's office. He felt a sharp tug as Tatsumi reached out and pulled his hair (albeit gently) to stop him.  
  
Watari stumbled backwards slightly, and his motion was stopped when he hit the warm and rather soft body of the secretary behind him. He could feel the soft breathe of Tatsumi from behind his neck, as he leant down slightly and said softly into his ear,  
  
"Even I know full well that you went in the opposite direction to your lab." Watari smiled softly and nestled his head back against Tatsumi. Tatsumi was still holding onto a tuft of his hair, and had started to twirl it around in his fingers and play with it. The soft and silky strands flowed fluidly over his fingers and Watari sighed softly.  
  
"Actually, I'm not that busy right now, so I guess I can permit a visit from you." Tatsumi smiled and let go of the strand of blonde hair. He slipped out from behind Watari and made his way back into his office, looking back at Watari, who stood in the doorway. "Well, are you coming or not?"  
  
Watari looked at Tatsumi from under his curtain of curly blonde hair and smiled seductively. "Of course." He walked gracefully over the threshold of the doorway and shut the door behind him, locking it with a soft click.  
  
~~~****~~~  
  
Hisoka looked up. He had been lost in his thoughts for so long that he had no idea where his feet had taken him. He looked up, slightly alarmed. He was climbing some stairs, and he could see an open doorway at the top of them, with soft dappled sunlight streaming through. Curious, he mounted the last few steps and passed through the door.  
  
He looked around him. He was on the roof of the Enma Cho building, with the late afternoon sunshine the only lighting, lengthening the shadows. He felt the cool breeze blowing and took a deep breath. It comforted him here, for some unknown reason, and he was glad that his instincts had led him here.  
  
The roof was edged with railings at just above waist height, and Hisoka walked to one side of the roof, which looked out on the wide sakura avenue and the green and well tended lawn. He leant on the railings and stood there for a while, taking in the view and watching the clouds move across the calm sky.  
  
In his head, he turned over what he had felt and thought the past few hours. It was laughable really, that he had felt so many conflicting emotions, all in the space of one day. He sighed softly and buried his head into his arms.  
  
The falling sakura petals continued to swirl past, and he wind continued to blow, but Hisoka stayed still, as though he were a statue, frozen in time.  
  
~~To be Continued~~  
  
Lina: Umm, yeah, well, I know this chapter was a bit lame . . . but I promise there will be some action in the next one! I think the next one will be the last chapter of the fic. ^^ Unless I decide to do an epilogue. And I'll try and update quicker next time – Gomen . . . school and stuff is getting in the way of my writing. -_-  
  
Answers to Reviews:  
  
Tenshiamanda: Lol, yeah, Tatsumi the therapist! ^^ Hope this chapter was alright!  
  
Animewriter2: Sorry I took so long to update. -_- But well, nothing much happens here, apart from some Hisoka angsting and some Tatari-ness. ^^; But indeed, this fic is ending soon . . . I won't be evil anymore. Well, not ~too~ evil anyway. *evil laugh* Hope this chapter was alright!  
  
LYK: Yep! It amuses me as well that Tatsumi is advising Tsuzuki on love. I know all the characters are totally OOC in this, but oh well, I'm past the point of caring now. ^^; And yes, Yoko Matsushita sensei MUST finishYami! ^^  
  
Giana: Thank you for reviewing! Sorry I took so long to update... ^^; But cool! You're Brazilian! :D I'm glad you think the ficcie is alright. ^^ And yes, the end will come soon! ^^  
  
Sovereign of Silence3: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you like the fic and I'm sorry I took so long to update. -_- Real life kinda gets in the way sometimes . . . And the end will be very soon, and I WILL update quicker next time! ^^  
  
Yep, that's it for now... see you next time! And please R&R I live on reviews – I don't know if what I'm doing is alright if I get no feedback, ne? ^^ Bye minna! 


	10. Chapter 10: Tomorrow

Of Dreams and Reality By Lina Lau  
  
Ok, well, to make up for the past few chapters, where I have taken so long to update, and where the chapters were kinda short, this chapter is extra extra long! ^^ It's probably the longest chapter I've ever written. Hehe. XD  
  
Umm, yeah, that's it from me, for now. Enjoy the chappie! :)  
  
Disclaimer: Still doesn't belong to me.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, a heavy dose of fluff, so if either of those things offend you, then don't read.  
  
Spoilers: This is set after the Kyoto arc of both manga and anime, so there may be spoilers.  
  
Additional Notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words, ~~~****~~~ = scene change  
  
On to the final chapter!  
  
Chapter 10: Tomorrow  
  
Tsuzuki sat, trying to concentrate on the papers in front of him. He continued to write, but had no idea what he was writing. His handwriting was illegible, even for himself. He silently hoped that Tatsumi would not berate him later for his messy handwriting and nonsensical reports.  
  
He moved about restlessly in his chair, shifting his weight from left to right, and then to the left again. The office seemed strangely empty. Even though Hisoka was quiet and unobtrusive when he worked, the silence of the office and the loss of the heat from another warm body seemed to permeate throughout the room and remind Tsuzuki even more acutely that his partner was not there. Tsuzuki gazed at the desk opposite him. It was relatively neat and tidy, with a stack of reports piled somewhat haphazardly on one corner; a few stray sheets littered the surface of the desk here and there.  
  
With a sigh, Tsuzuki pushed his chair back and got up. There was no point in trying to continue working – his heart was elsewhere. He threw on his trench coat quickly and strode to the door to leave the office, in search of the object of his distraction.  
  
'Sorry Tatsumi, but if you want to increase the productivity from both me and Hisoka, you'll have to let me slack off for a while.' Tsuzuki thought, somewhat amused. How ironic.  
  
He hated the tension that hung in the air; the stifling feeling that made him choke slightly. Tsuzuki quickened his pace, looking left and right into the rooms in hope of catching a glimpse of soft blonde hair or a flash of brilliant emerald.  
  
Things left unfinished, unsaid; unanswered questions, these were the things that drove Tsuzuki onwards.  
  
~~~****~~~  
  
Hisoka kept his eyes closed. The cool breeze blew still, and he could hear the faint rustling of the leaves of the trees that surrounded him. It was peaceful, calming and he could almost pretend that it was just another normal day where nothing had happened. Just another ordinary day . . .  
  
He opened his eyes and looked up. But did he really want it to be just another ordinary day? He looked down; various employees were going in and out of the building, some in a hurry, others more leisurely. Did he really want to turn back the hands of time and start all over again from the beginning of today?  
  
Hisoka's brows furrowed. No . . . even if he had the choice, he would not have wished for today to not have happened. Perhaps he didn't like the way things were right now, but he would not want to undo all the threads of memories and actions that weaved their way together intricately to form today, even if he had a choice. Besides, Hisoka knew that life was not a video; you couldn't fast forward and rewind, hoping to change the flow of things.  
  
He straightened up, and noted the changing colour of the sky. It was getting late, and the sky was dappled with many different shades of auburn, with crimson streaks here and there amongst the distant clouds.  
  
Towards his right, suddenly, a flock of birds flew up and out of the tree, squawking slightly. Hisoka watched the flock's progress, as they flew away, until they were only a small speck in the clear sky far away. Hisoka felt the breeze blow softly, and his hair danced to the music of the wind, soft strands tickling his cheeks and licking his temples softly.  
  
He was startled when, from behind him, he heard a muffled thud, and the creaking of hinges. He turned around, and there stood Tsuzuki, breathless, cheeks tinged with a soft pink, perhaps from running, or perhaps it was just a reflection of the shafts of late afternoon sunshine, Hisoka was not sure. He was panting slightly. Their eyes locked onto each other and both were reluctant to look away, but embarrassed to keep staring at each other.  
  
"I've . . . finally . . . found . . . you . . ."  
  
Something stirred in Hisoka's memory. These words, this scene before him, it was as though he had been here before, and had seen this unfolding before him. He was suddenly struck by the memory of his earlier dream. Different snapshots flashed in rapid motion in front of his eyes. He remembered the scene, the wind, the man standing before him. And he remembered the sense of urgency that had gripped him, to say something, anything, before it was too late and the chance was lost. No alarm clock would wake him now – this was no dream, this was reality.  
  
They continued to watch one another with intensity, neither taking theirs eyes off each other. The wind started to pick up speed, and whirled its meandering path between the two shinigami, oblivious to the staring match between them.  
  
Hisoka wanted to open his mouth and say something, break the tense electric atmosphere that both had conjured up, but could think of nothing to say. So, he continued to stare into those deep pools of amethyst, drowning in the depths of the orbs.  
  
Tsuzuki was the first to speak, without breaking his gaze from Hisoka.  
  
"Hisoka . . ."  
  
". . ."  
  
"Look, I'm sorry about what happened . . ."  
  
"You have nothing to apologise about, it wasn't your fault."  
  
". . ." A short silence ensued.  
  
Hisoka looked intently at Tsuzuki, his gaze unwavering.  
  
"Tsuzuki . . ."  
  
". . . Yes?"  
  
"Don't cry anymore."  
  
The simple statement from Hisoka startled Tsuzuki somewhat, and his gaze, previously intense and searching, became slightly confused.  
  
"I won't let you cry anymore." Hisoka took a step towards Tsuzuki. "I made a promise to you, I'll keep it."  
  
". . . 'Soka . . ."  
  
With a swift step, Tsuzuki closed the distance between the two of them and locked Hisoka in a tight embrace. Hisoka was caught off guard, and was swept into the arms of Tsuzuki.  
  
"I can't promise to never cry again . . . but I can try." Tsuzuki's words were muffled by Hisoka's hair. "Is that good enough for you?"  
  
Silently, Hisoka nodded. He threaded his arms around Tsuzuki, and they stood there for what seemed like eternity. Finally, Tsuzuki let go of Hisoka, and stepped back. Hisoka's hands, however, lingered around the taller man's waist, unwilling to let go.  
  
"Hisoka . . . I . . ." Hisoka, knowing what Tsuzuki was about to say, silenced him with a finger at his lips.  
  
"Don't say it, Tsuzuki." He whispered softly. "Don't say it if you don't mean it." He looked at Tsuzuki, and his eyes, usually crystalline clear, were overflowing with emotion. He knew the dangers of the word 'love'. It had hurt him countless times in life. If Tsuzuki said it, it would open up a myriad of ways in which the two of them could be hurt. But Hisoka was willing to bear that, if Tsuzuki meant what he said.  
  
"I love you Hisoka." Tsuzuki brought a hand up to Hisoka's face. "And I mean it with all my heart."  
  
Hisoka buried his head into Tsuzuki's chest. "Love you too." He said this simply, almost too quietly, but his tone held all the emotions that swirled within him. He felt Tsuzuki's hand gently tilt his chin upwards, and he obliged, bringing his eyes up to look into those of Tsuzuki's again. Slowly, Tsuzuki leant down, slow enough for Hisoka to duck away, should he wish to. But Hisoka stayed where he was, and closed his eyes, long lashes brushing against the soft skin of his cheeks.  
  
Tsuzuki's soft lips met Hisoka's. It was a fleeting touch; brief, light, only a brush, and left Hisoka wanting more. Tsuzuki drew away, and Hisoka opened his eyes. He licked his lips unconsciously, eager to taste Tsuzuki again, to taste that strange mixture of cinnamon, sugar and spice. He grasped Tsuzuki's black trench coat at both lapels, and pulled, bringing their lips together again, more forcefully this time.  
  
When the two drew back, they were both slightly breathless, and their gazes just as intense as before. The wind made Tsuzuki's trench coat fan out around the two of them, seemingly engulfing them in dancing shadows.  
  
The sun was setting, and the sky was a brilliant canvas of autumn colours. Hisoka and Tsuzuki both watched the sunset from the roof of the Enma Cho Building, as it sank lower and lower in the horizon. It was starting to grow dark now, and the stars, one by one, shining brightly, flared to life here and there in the vast cavern of the sky.  
  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Tsuzuki broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.  
  
"Yes, it is." Hisoka drew closer to Tsuzuki, the chill of the early evening reaching him through his thin white t-shirt. Tsuzuki stepped back, behind Hisoka, and wrapped his arms around his smaller partner's frame, warming him. They stood there for a while, watching the changing colours of the sky above them and the gradual inevitable darkness fall around them.  
  
The day was over, and evening had descended, and though the sun had set, there was always tomorrow. There was always a bright new day to look forward to, and there Tsuzuki would be, greeting him in the early morning sunshine, with a smile on his face. For always. For eternity.  
  
This was no dream.  
  
Hisoka smiled softly, closing his eyes, and leant back against the solid and warm presence of Tsuzuki.  
  
There was always tomorrow.  
  
~~Fin~~  
  
Lina: Well, here's the end of the fic! I'm so proud – I wrote a whole fic and I finished it! XD And thank you to all those kind people who have been reviewing and supporting me throughout this fic. ^^ Reviews really do mean a lot to me, especially as this is my first fic ever. So, a big thank you and hugs goes out to all those who have reviewed and made my day so much brighter! :D I love you people! *huggles*  
  
Answers to Reviewers:  
  
LYK: Hehe, I'm glad that I can log in again as well! ^_^ Lol, yeah, Tatsumi can be pretty schizophrenic sometimes, hehe. Especially in the manga, when he goes into "I'm-an-evil-stingy-secretary" mode. XD And I hope you liked this final chapter – and thank you for reviewing my fic and saying such lovely comments! It's especially nice for a writer whom I like to give positive reviews to my fic! *huggles*  
  
Dodger-chan: Thank you for reviewing my fic! ^^ And I'm glad you like it; I hope this final chapter was alright as well. :D  
  
Tenshiamanda: Hehe, yeah, Hisoka and Sakura petals are not good together . . . but I don't like Muraki so he ain't gona show up in this fic. ^^ Thank you for reviewing – and I hope this chapter was alright as well. Some Hisoka and Tsuzuki action, finally! XD  
  
Celeste: Hehe, Tatsumi and Tsuzuki are cute together as well, but my favourite pairing is still TsuSoka. ^^ But I'm glad you think this fic is alright. Thank you for reviewing! ^_^  
  
Konnie-chan: Indeed, I'm afraid it's over now, unless I write an epilogue... but I duno, would anyone actually read it if I did? O_O Hehe, yeah, last chapter was kinda short, but this chapter makes up for it, ne? And that was the last of Tatariness in this fic, I hope it was good enough! ^^ Thank you for reviewing my ficcie throughout it's progress, your reviews really mean a lot to me, especially as I love your work as well! *huggles* Love ya!  
  
Please, R&R, they mean so much to me! ^_^  
  
Well, this is the end. Maybe I'll write an epilogue . . . should I? Leave an answer in your reviews and I'll see. ^^ I duno if I'll write another fic . . . it's pretty hard having to update regularly and juggle everyday school life. But if I get struck by inspiration suddenly, then I guess I will start another one, ne? You poor people will just have to suffer my writing. Hehe. ^^;  
  
Arigatou minna for reading and reviewing and giving me encouragement throughout the time that I was writing this fic – it was most appreciated! As you guys know, this was my first ever fic for any fandom and I'm really glad that people actually read it, let alone liked it. ^^ Wah~~! I got nearly 60 reviews! And they were all positive ones too! *teary chibi inu- Tsuzuki eyes* Arigatou! And I hope that you guys enjoyed reading the fic as much as I had fun writing it. *huggles everyone*  
  
Bye! And thank you for reading my random ramblings! 


	11. Epilogue

Of Dreams and Reality By Lina Lau  
  
Well, here is the epilogue! ^_^ I'm sorry it took me a while to write . . . school is being a bitch and inspiration just deserted me . . . -_- But yes, it is done now! XD Hope you guys like it! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: Last time I checked, Yami no Matsuei still doesn't belong to me.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai and yet another heavy dose of fluff! Don't read if you don't like. ^^  
  
Spoilers: This is set after the Kyoto arc in both anime and manga and so might contain spoilers for the series.  
  
Additional Notes: 'blah' = thoughts, "blah" = spoken words, ~~~~***~~~~ = scene change  
  
Right, onto the epilogue! ^^  
  
Epilogue  
  
"BEEP ~~ BEEP~~ BE~ SMACK!" Tsuzuki drew his hand back into the warm covers of the bed and curled up again. The curtains rustled lightly in the morning summer breeze, and a few stray dancing shafts of sunlight decorated the ceiling when the curtains parted slightly.  
  
"Mmm . . . what was that?" A groggy voice came from somewhere around the mess of blankets that surrounded Tsuzuki's chest. Sleepy green eyes peeked at Tsuzuki, soft blonde hair disorganised and falling in tumbles from Hisoka's head.  
  
"Your alarm is annoying, 'Soka." Tsuzuki yawned a little, and attempted to sit up. "You shouldn't set it when it's Sunday." The warmth and weight of Hisoka slid off his chest, and Hisoka retreated back into the covers with a mumbled "If you say so, baka . . ."  
  
Tsuzuki smiled and ruffled Hisoka's hair affectionately. The blonde made a small noise of discontent, but did not move away. He snuggled even deeper into the warmth of the blankets and moved closer to Tsuzuki.  
  
"It's early . . . I'm surprised you actually woke up with the alarm."  
  
Tsuzuki pouted.  
  
"I'm not always lazy you know."  
  
"Whatever you say, baka . . ." A short but comfortable silence followed. They both listened to the birds singing and the soft rustling of the leaves in the trees outside.  
  
"Say, Hisoka, I'm kinda hungry . . ."  
  
~~~~***~~~~  
  
The kitchen was small but warm, and the smell of freshly made toast and coffee permeated through the house. Hisoka, having decided that Tsuzuki was not to be trusted in the kitchen, got out of bed and made breakfast. Tsuzuki was already happily eating everything displayed before him.  
  
Hisoka sat opposite him, quietly sipping his daily dose of caffeine, observing the purple eyed man. Even though Hisoka had been working with him for so long, the beauty of the man never failed to take his breath away (though he would sooner eat one of Tsuzuki's culinary dishes than admit it to anyone). The soft strands of chocolate brown hair fell haphazardly across his forehead, tumbling into his iridescent eyes, which were currently focused downwards, on the toast that Tsuzuki was busy devouring.  
  
Unwatched, Hisoka chanced a small smile. It was ghostly – a blink and it would have been missed, but nevertheless, it was still there, albeit rather faint. Hisoka smiled a lot more now. Tsuzuki seemed to have that effect on everyone. If you were around the man, you couldn't help but smile. This was, at first, rather perturbing for Hisoka, but now, he was glad of Tsuzuki's company. Hisoka had grown used to the bright rays of light that entered his heart whenever Tsuzuki was near, and though he was reluctant to admit it, he liked the feeling.  
  
To feel loved was a new sort of emotion for him, but he soon started to bask in the warmth that the feeling brought with it – started to like it too much perhaps, for he was beginning to feel afraid, should that feeling ever leave him. Afraid that he would fall back into the darkness and the coldness that had encased him before. But he trusted Tsuzuki, and the trust that he held in the man far out ruled the fear that he felt.  
  
He trusted Tsuzuki with all his heart, and he knew that Tsuzuki felt the same with him. Tsuzuki had been the single flickering flame of light in the darkness that had previously enveloped him. He had been the only one that Hisoka could truly relate to, and whom he totally trusted. That trust was what Hisoka held onto, what he leant on now. It was the single ribbon that held together the lattice of his very being. Should that ribbon be removed, he knew that he would drift apart, and would never be complete again.  
  
He cherished more than anything the time that he spent with Tsuzuki; whether it was eating at a café (Tsuzuki's favourite past time, it appears), sitting in the sunshine in a quiet park or simply relaxing in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company.  
  
~~~~~***~~~~~  
  
Tsuzuki looked up, having finished his breakfast. He found Hisoka seemingly staring at him, eyes slightly clouded, deep in thought. He looked somewhat childlike and vulnerable, the normally sharp green eyes softened by contemplation. Sometimes, Tsuzuki still felt Hisoka was a mystery to him. He could not claim to know everything about Hisoka, and Hisoka could certainly not claim to know everything about him either, but there was a strange sort of familiarity between the two, a connection that they had with each other that they had never had with any other person.  
  
Hisoka had stayed with him; he was the only partner that Tsuzuki had ever had for longer than 2 months. Hisoka had stayed, and that had meant the world to him.  
  
"Finished?" It seemed Hisoka had come back to the real world.  
  
Tsuzuki smiled and nodded. "Thank you for making breakfast, 'Soka- chan!" Hisoka scowled, but said nothing, clearing away the plates and putting them into the sink, ready to be washed. He turned on the tap, and the crystalline clear water flowed out of it and into the sink. Just as Hisoka was getting ready to reach for a plate, he felt strong arms wrap around him.  
  
He turned, and was met with Tsuzuki's intense violet gaze. "Thank you . . ." It was barely a whisper, but Hisoka had heard. Shyly, he brought his hands up and wrapped them around Tsuzuki's neck, fingers entwining in the dark and rich strands. The kiss they shared was long and leisurely. After all, there was no rush. They had eternity before them.  
  
The tap and the dishes lay forgotten; sparkling water continued to fall, a gentle tinkling in the background. The sky was blue, the clouds white and fluffy, and the flowers in the garden that Tsuzuki tended so diligently were just starting to bloom.  
  
The two, oblivious to their surroundings were completely engrossed in each other. The light summer breeze found its way into the kitchen of the small house they shared, bringing with it the faint scent of freshly cut grass and the sweet essence of unknown flowers.  
  
They were framed by the kitchen window, white linen curtains rippling gently in the breeze. A perfect picture. Somehow, frozen in that moment, reality seemed far preferable to dreams.  
  
~~~END~~~  
  
Lina: I'm sorry if this epilogue kinda sucked . . . but it was the best that I could come up with in my current state of health and mental capabilities. ^^; I hope the ending was alright, I had a lot of trouble writing it . . . it just didn't sound right. Sorry for the delay in updating, blame good old writer's block! XD  
  
Answers to Reviewers:  
  
Bjorenson: Wow, I still got first time reviewers in the last chappie! XD Thank you for reviewing, and hope the epilogue was alright! ^^  
  
Dodger-chan: Here's the epilogue! ^_^ (albeit slightly late. . . .) Thank you for reviewing and maybe I will write another one, who knows? XD  
  
Izumi: Thank you! =3 Hope the epilogue was to your taste as well! ^_^  
  
Ace of Time: I'm glad you liked the fic! ^_^ Thank you for your support throughout the time that I was writing this fic! *huggles*  
  
LYK: You think Hisoka is in character? I'm so glad . . . I was worried that he was kinda OOC. One of the reasons why this fic takes so long to update is because I have to make sure that all characters are in character and that takes a long time . . . ^^; Here is the epilogue, hope you liked! Thank you for everything and all the encouragement you've given me while writing this fic! *gives cookies* It was much appreciated! *glomps*  
  
Maischeph: Wah~~! Another first time reviewer right at the last chapter! XD Thank you for your kind comments! =3 And I'm really glad that you liked the fic, hope the epilogue was to your taste as well! ^^  
  
Otakusoei: Another first time reviewer! XDDD Thank you for your kind comments! ^_^ It makes me so happy that other people are reading my fic and are liking it! ^^  
  
Apocalipticoblivion: *huggles* Your support and kind comments really meant a lot to me. ^^ And here is the epilogue . . . not sure if it's wonderful though . . . ^^; Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Konnie-chan: Look! Epilogue! No evil plushie army will make me cook now! XDDD Lol. Thank you for your support throughout the fic, it really means a lot to me. ^_^ And your kind comments really do make my day so much better. *huggles tight* Sorry there's no Tatari in the epilogue, but there is a heavy dose of Tsusoka fluff, ne? Thank you for everything! You've been an angel! ^_^  
  
Well, this is the real end then, I guess. Love it? Hate it? Leave a review and tell me! ^_^ Arigatou all for reading and for reviewing, it really does mean the world to me! *huggles everyone* 


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